I'm Not Dead
I'm Not Dead
Under budget, and ahead of schedule - in another universe...
A quick note: while I haven’t published much as of late, I’m not dead.
I wouldn’t call this a career awakening, really. I’ve had some meaningful downtime in recent weeks, and for the first time ever I didn’t celebrate Christmas. Not even a bit. All the down time, like my time off in the early stages of COViD, meant I had ample time to reflect. Time to reflect, time to sit with things, instead of rushing by and feigning a broken hello. This has impacted my writing output but not my productivity, which is interesting in itself. To give some sense of scale to the thing, I still haven’t even replied to Laurent’s retirement email.
In truth there is another reason for all of this. My transition from outpatient to inpatient work is to blame for the chaos. It’s still related to a more flexible schedule, I think. On inpatient I’ve been afforded more time to tend to my patients in a way I am instantly comfortable with. I get to know them. I’m also able to teach a lot, and really as much as I want, which is a pleasure and novel way to learn. Inpatient psychiatry is how I came to be acquainted with the specialty in the first place so I shouldn’t be so surprised, given how monumental that experience was. And as was then, is now - a young brilliant boss of a physician, and teacher, more than a few paces ahead of me but still somehow in sight.
Another component of the synergism of things at the moment is my psychotherapy training. I’ve now officially begun psychodynamic psychotherapy sessions. A good case lasts 30 sessions, and a great case lasts more than 50 or 60. We, of course, are aiming for the latter. So in a strange turn of events I’m suddenly a therapist. When the elitism is polished too faithfully it becomes nauseating, yes - but I’m not ashamed to say that I find the title of therapist to be much more interesting than that of doctor.
To boot, I’m about to set sail with Oh’ Sea D and CBT. It’s been a long time comin’.
Anywho. Too many topics, so little time. MAiD, David Sedaris, Canadian politics, and my beloved NS, we will turn to next.
-d